Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: For 14 years, Satan relentlessly targeted me, enraged by the freedom I was advocating for those trapped in spiritually lifeless marriages.
Thousands merely observing the surface reacted with judgmental screams. However, after years of confusion among the people, reminiscent of the days of BAAL worship during Elijah's time, God responded with a celestial fire unveiling his extraordinary power and the divine design of time through my testimony and ministry.
If you wish to join the end of a 14 year long list of thousands who came before you, our only response is our Lord's words in John 5:36 the Father gave me these works to accomplish and they serve as evidence that he sent me. If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear for the rest. Welcome to from the Ruins, a Divorce Sanctuary.
The message you're about to hear was Originally posted on May 3rd, 2015 on my very first YouTube channel and its title was don't be surprised if God runs off your unbelieving spouse. Before I removed those videos from that channel, this particular one had been listened to nearly 150,000 times. There were some dramatic testimonies that I heard as a result of people hearing this message, which I'm so thankful to the Lord for. In particular, before I let you hear a replay of that exact message, I'd like to share with you a nine minute testimony from a brother named Jared Tabi, who himself was entangled in this battle of staying in a dead marriage, fighting the legalistic views of Christianity which had been pumped into his head since he was a young child, and how God used this message to get him free and eventually help him to find a marriage with life. May God bless you as you listen. Also, please don't forget to subscribe to this video if you're being blessed by the content. If you hit subscribe, YouTube is very likely to recommend this video to somebody who may be hurting just as much or even more than you.
[00:02:18] Speaker B: I got to this point where I felt I had repented of everything that I had done wrong. I turned back to Him. I called out to him, asked for help, but I still had this situation in my life with my marriage and things that I didn't know what to do with. And I was calling out to him for help and I was still honestly seeking his hand.
I wanted not only him, but I also wanted him to fix my situation, fix this scenario that I was in in my life that I had caused.
I had put together this mess in my life and I was convinced he was going to fix it.
I wanted God to restore my marriage. I thought he could do it And I almost believed, I knew he would do it and he would have to do it because this is what God would want. He would want to, you know, he would want me to be reconciled with my wife and we would have this loving, Christian, faithful marriage.
I was praying for that. And I was actually going out and trying to find promises in the Bible and texting everybody I knew, please pray for my marriage and for me.
I went to her and I told her that I turned to God and that the way we were living and what we were doing in this split up, I didn't feel that it was of God. It's not what he would have us do.
And I begged her to start praying and seeking him. And I don't know that she was totally willing to fully give herself to God and give us another try.
I started going on YouTube and trying to find out videos on marriage and how God could save my marriage. And I came across this video that said, don't be surprised if God runs off your unbelieving spouse by this guy named Michael Criswell. And I turned it on. I actually played it for about two or three minutes. And I got so angry because I could tell the context of this video was not what I wanted to hear.
It was talking about holding loosely in things. And I said, no, no, this isn't for me.
Went back to my, you know, really holding on to, God's going to fix this. He's going to do it. I know he's for my marriage. He's for me.
So over the course of the next couple of months, I started seeking him more, started to realize that, you know, maybe things weren't going to work out the way I wanted them to. So my prayers started changing a little bit. My attitude changed a little bit, where I actually started thinking, well, God, if you're not going to fix this, what can you do for me for the rest of my life?
And it was still a selfish attitude. If I really hadn't come to the end of me, I really hadn't given him everything. I was still holding on to many things. I had repented of some of these things in my life. I turned from a lot of the sin, the worldliness. I'm ridding my life. I'm asking him, God, is there anything else I can do to get rid of the junk in my life?
I'm taking a lot of action on those things. But really in my heart, I hadn't really poured myself out. I haven't really come to the end of me and said, God, you know, Your will be done. I didn't want to pray that because I was afraid of what his will might be.
I was really holding on to this idea that my old life could continue with him in it.
At that point, I didn't have any hope that even God could turn me around or have any kind of future for me. I felt like I was coming to this end of my life and I was only 30 some years old. I felt that. And that I would have to live the rest of this life another 50 years miserable and down and just riddled with pain.
The pain was incredible. The depression was unbelievable. I would have these night terrors and terrible dreams.
I would have panic attacks at work.
I would wake up and just pure panic multiple times a night, just yelling out and screaming almost just under a lot of torment.
I keep imagining myself dying.
I thought of it this morning when I got out of bed and I saw the shotgun sitting there against the wall.
I know I wouldn't. I couldn't hurt others that way.
And I know I would end up in hell.
But the pain will not stop. If it stops, I just feel numb.
I don't want to die. I just don't want the pain anymore.
I know my life will never be the same. And even though I might be happy again, I will miss the people I love.
And that same week that I wrote that note, I attended a church service.
I went forward during the praise and worship. And I was just standing at the altar, just with my eyes closed, my hands in the air, just calling out to God. And I said, God, it's me and you.
I told him, it's me and you now.
And that was the end of me. I died that day.
I died to self.
I surrendered everything.
And it was painful. It hurt. Because all the hopes and dreams that I had, all the things that I had established in my mind that were gonna make a good life, I gave up on.
And I truly said, God, you're with me. Done.
I've got nothing left.
I knew that I could trust him. I knew for once that I could give him everything, my whole heart, and that he wouldn't hurt it. I could never do that with anybody on this earth before.
And I said, God, I fully trust you. So I gave him my whole heart.
And wow, the peace and joy that came after that was incredible.
I started driving to work, laughing and smiling and singing.
And I didn't know how. In fact, it felt strange that this could be happening. I didn't really understand it and I didn't even tell anybody because they probably would think I'm medicated or crazy, but it was real. And it continued for months, still continuing.
I wake up every day with peace.
I thank him every day that I woke up again.
A couple months after that.
God had told me that he would guide me when the time came on how to act and what to do.
And so this weekend came up where I had to make a decision on how to proceed, what to do with my wife and with this divorce.
I started fasting and praying that weekend, seeking God for some answer on the situation.
And it was probably a half day into this fast that I go on YouTube to try to just maybe see what others have done. And I didn't even search for anything. I just opened up YouTube on my cell phone.
And the first thing, the first suggested video is this same video of Michael Criswell's that don't be surprised if God runs off your unbelieving spouse.
And so this time my heart was a little bit different. And I said, well, maybe there's something here.
Maybe God's got something in this for me. And I played it and I listened to the whole message and the words jumped out hold on loosely.
And God confirmed that in my heart that that's what I needed to do and that he would be with me and that he would continue to guide me through this and give me grace to get through this. And the following week, I was able to, with some peace, make this decision and move forward.
I bought Michael's book, the John 7:17 challenge. And I found so much truth that I wasn't hearing in the church. And I was so excited to find the book that somebody was speaking the truth and saying how to become a true follower and not giving into this complacency and compromise that you see so often.
And it excited me. And I soon started getting the book for other people. I started passing this book around to other people. And I think a lot of people are being changed and blessed by it. Those who are really open, whose hearts are really open to God, will love to hear that message of truth.
It's a funny thing. Now I'm sitting in Michael's living room recording this message.
Michael's a great brother of mine and I appreciate him now. And I thank God for him every day. And through this ministry, he's helped me a lot.
To God be the glory. God be praised.
God is now directing my life and giving me peace. And I have such a such hope now. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I have no idea.
I know If I had died in a car wreck a year ago, I'd spend eternity in hell.
God be the glory that he called me back. And it's nothing that I could have done on my own because he orchestrated the entire thing.
He gave me. He showed me mercy and gave me another chance. This opportunity is there for anybody. It's there for anybody. And I go around proclaiming this and telling everybody because so many people are hurt and damaged by this world. And everybody, even the person that seems to be the most well off and secure and happy and have finances in some way, they feel inadequate or they're damaged by this world. They've tried many things to ease that pain and soothe that pain.
Only God can heal that. And it's designed to be that way.
There is liberty to those who are bound up by this pain and guilt and suffering and loss.
There's hope. There definitely is hope.
I just can't believe I missed this for so long.
And I pray to him every day almost. And I say, I can't believe how long I went without this.
It's hard to believe.
It's hard to believe that I.
I could have had this my whole life.
[00:13:16] Speaker C: And
[00:13:19] Speaker B: I missed a lot of years. But he's redeeming those years.
He's catching me up.
He's alive and he's my redeemer. And he's with me every day.
And I know the years that are left are.
Are going to be good with him. And even if they're tough, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter because I can get through anything with him.
Anything is possible for the one that believes.
[00:13:58] Speaker C: Hello, Christina, this is Michael Criswell again.
I wanted to just reply to your last email and I'm. I. First of all, I am very, very thankful that you were touched by my recording and my message to you again. That is wonderful. All glory to God. He is such a wonderful, wonderful father. And I thank you. I praise God for the opportunity to help people and thank you for taking the time to write back specifically. And I won't be long. I just wanted to share something with you that I hope could possibly encourage you a little bit. And that is that I'm sorry to hear about the situation that your marriage is in. As your brother in Christ, I mourn with you. Even the loss of the dream so far of a marriage between two people that love each other and two people that are to love God one another.
I'm sorry for that. For you. I know firsthand the pain that you are experiencing. I myself was in that marriage for nearly 15 years. And we had many weak moments, as I say in my story, but that we somehow or another seemed to continue to be able to move forward. And really what it was, it was just that for the sake of peace, we swept things under the rug. That's really the truth. And then the issue was always there. And so eventually that root would begin to produce more fruit. We were never getting to the cause. And so there's a principle that God helped me to see that gave me much, much relief.
I'm not saying that this necessarily applies to your situation, because I don't know what the Father will do in your situation, but it is something that happened to me, and it does happen often, and that is this.
Obviously, I did not want to end my marriage. I wanted to be one of those who was married. And when I was 90 years old, to be walking down the beach, hand in hand with my wife as lovers, that was a dream that I had.
And because I was a Christian man, I did not want to divorce my wife. And so I think I put up with, as most people would say. I went far beyond what most people would have to accommodate, really, my Christian beliefs, that divorce was not something that you should do.
And as you probably are aware, there's three instances that the Bible gives for the separating of a marriage in the Bible, and the first one is that of in Matthew, chapter five, it talks about that marital unfaithfulness is the only reason that a man can leave his wife.
But then there is also two other instances that a marriage can be broken where in the eyes of God, it is not considered evil or adultery or sinful, and that is through the death of one's spouse. So somebody becomes a widow.
And then the third option would be First Corinthians 7:15, where we see that sometimes an unbelieving spouse will leave the marriage because of the other person's belief in Jesus Christ. Paul teaches that the believing spouse should let the unbelieving spouse leave in that manner, and that you, the believing spouse, are no longer bound in that marriage. And the reason that Paul gives is that because God desires that we live in peace. This is 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, verse 15.
Now, how you define nonbeliever was interesting to me because I did not yet realize the difference between a false disciple and a true disciple. I did not really understand the difference at this time between knowing about God versus knowing God.
And there was a great deal of time that would pass before I began to understand these principles of God. But I Do want to share with you something that happened and that was that a man came into my life who tried to counsel my, my wife and I.
He's a famous man and he came into our life and he had a situation where his marriage was saved at the last minute. Now they were both Christians and they were, had completely gone through the divorce process. They were within days of signing the papers. Somebody asked them to take a last ditch effort and go to this marriage retreat in Arkansas. So they went and miraculously God saved their marriage. So a friend of mine knew this man and since my friend knew that my wife and I were very much dire straits, last ditch effort to save the marriage.
He puts a meeting together with myself, my wife and this other man and his wife. And so we go, when we meet together, they bring their divorce papers to show us that they were all done except for the sign and that God can do these amazing miracles. And I so bad wanted to believe for that.
Well, we leave the meeting. I feel a sense of hope. But soon after things just get worse. And as you have seen in my story, I think you've seen my story. I'm not sure if you've seen my story or not. If you have not seen my story, Christina, please go find my story on my channel called Trusting God in the Storm. It's a documentary style video that talks all about my divorce, my life, and God has used this in a very powerful way to touch people. So please, if you have not seen that, go watch that.
But this man, as it turns out, my, my wife would go through the process of separating from me and she would even file for divorce within two weeks of separating.
Well, as it turns out, I was in a leadership group and I drove out to the middle of nowhere for a leadership conference. And who is the speaker? It's this man, Jeff, who spoke to my wife and I with his wife, he's the speaker. And I'm embarrassed because here they tried to help us save the marriage and it hasn't been saved. It's gotten worse. And so I went up to him and I said, Jeff. I said, hey. He said, mike, how's it going? I said, jeff, I'm so sorry to tell you this man. I said, I don't even know how to explain to you. I said, it's gotten so bad.
I said, it's like spiritual warfare on a level I've never seen. I said, she not only separated, she's now filed for divorce. And, and then she's just turned into like a monster. It's unbelievable.
I just. I'm embarrassed and humiliated to tell you. And it's just, you know, but I'm just trusting God. These are the words that come out of his mouth, Christina. He says to me something that just rocked my world because in church all we hear about is how much God hates divorce. God hates divorce. If you get divorced, you have a scarlet ettor A on your chest, you know, or scarlet D it should be, but you know, and you feel so much pressure and you can feel like such a loss and such complete failure. No useful to God, you know, it's humiliating and it rips your heart out. I've been through lots of death of family members and stuff. I'm 41 years old, so I've had grandparents pass away. My best friend committed suicide when I was in high school. And, you know, I've been through that. The pain of the divorce is worse than all of those deaths put together.
It's horrible.
And what I want to tell you is Jeff says to me, michael, sometimes if a spouse, through disobedient, obstinate, hardness of heart is getting in the way of what God wants to do in the other spouse, we shouldn't be surprised when he removes the other spouse.
When he said that to me, Christina, I just was like, I found a freedom. I found a. Oh, are you. Whoa. It was very hard for me to come to grips with because church has only ever taught divorce is bad. Divorce is bad. Another thing that I'm going to share with you, that God opened my eyes to that gave me such relief as one day I was walking in the woods and I was praying and I said, God, you know, the Bible says, let men not separate what God has joined together.
And I said, I feel so bad. And one day I was just walking and praying and it was like God said to me, I didn't put this marriage together. You did, Christina. It was unbelievable.
The spirit of God set me free and helped me see. You know, when I met my wife, I was 19 years old. And the spirit of God just helped me to see that I'm the one that put this marriage together, not him.
And if he had not ended the marriage like he did and had not used my ex wife in such a brutal way in my life, I would not be the person I am today and I would not be enjoying this amazing, amazing relationship with my father in heaven. That is beyond putting into words what I have today.
I walked through the valley of the shadow of death.
I endured suffering. I bore some of the extra sufferings of Christ in my Body.
And God has helped me so much. And so I just want to encourage you that no matter what happens, as long as you continue to position yourself to seek God and you obey him and you act Christ like.
Let your husband do whatever he needs to do. And it very well may be that revival breaks out in your heart and in your life when he separates from you. Because that is exactly what happened to me. If that's God's will.
Now, it could also be that it's God's will to radically save him at the last minute. I don't want to give you false hope, but that is possible that that is what God could do. He could do anything.
My brotherly advice to you, as my sister in Christ, would be to hold this very loosely. Don't try to manipulate. Don't try to save and hold on to that which is dead. It very well could be that God is saying to you, let go of what is dead in the past, and I will give you what is new in the future.
Sometimes it is easier to give birth than it is to raise the dead. And contrary to what you will hear in church, sometimes revival comes from separation. The church preaches unity, unity, unity, unity. But there are many stories throughout history where God has used separation from people, separation in marriage, separation in relationships, to bring about revival. And remember Matthew 10:34.
Jesus says, do not suppose that I have come to bring peace, but a sword. I did not come to bring peace to earth.
He says, I have come to divide son against father, to divide mother from daughter, daughter in law from mother in law. A man's enemies will be the members of his own household. Anyone who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves his brother or sister more than me is not worthy of me. And anyone who does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me.
Understand that God's top priority, Christina, if you are seeking God, is you. His top priority is your heart. His top priority is Romans 8:29. To conform you into the image of Christ Jesus. Why? It's his glory that is on the stake. It's his glory that's at stake. God is about his glory in your life. God works through us and in us and for us, ultimately for him.
And so if anybody wants to get in the way of what God wants to do to glorify himself in your life, that person is robbing God of His glory. There is nothing on this earth. No relationship, no marriage, no child, no finances, no career, no mission. Nothing is as important on this earth as God's glory to himself.
And so if God wants to use you and move in you to bring glory to himself, and your ex husband has remained hard hearted and he has remained obstinate and he has remained with his heels in the ground, you would not be surprised that God himself will remove him out of your life.
It doesn't mean it won't be painful, but it is a good thing if God does it. And so I beg of you to hold it loosely. Don't do anything to manipulate or accelerate this. Let it be that if he is to be run off, that God runs him off.
And you continue to be a woman of noble character. You continue to hold your head high and you continue to pray for him as currently your enemy.
Because Jesus Christ said, he who is not with me is against me. He who does not gather scatters. So that means that your husband is living as an enemy of the cross of Christ. You have an enemy of your master in your household. You must understand that is exactly how God sees it. This is why Paul warns us not to be unequally yoked with those of unbelievers. Because the sinful nature is enmity towards God, it despises God and it cannot follow God's law. Romans 8:7.
So I just pray, dear sister, that you will consider all this. I hope this is something for you to be encouraged by. And I know no matter what, it's not fun to go through this. It's painful, it's brutal. But God will be with you. God will be with you. And Proverbs 4:23 Christina above all things, guard your heart, for out of it flows the wellspring of life.
Guard your heart. Don't allow whatever the devil may want to do if your husband leaves you. Don't allow whatever kind of dirt he wants to throw at you to stain your heart. You maintain Christlike position, Matthew 5:39, not resisting an evil person, but turning the other cheek, leaving room for God's vengeance and overcoming evil. Not being overcome by evil, but overcoming evil with God. Good.
Be Christlike and be willing to suffer. Be willing to be wronged. You never can tell what kind of an impact that may have on his life. Be willing to let him have the other hand. Be willing to let him take advantage of you. First Corinthians, chapter six Go read that.
Be willing to be wronged and be willing to be cheated.
Be willing to. To. To be thrown upon the mercy of God, where you have nothing but him. And you will find that when all you have is God. He is all you've ever needed, Christina. He is your Father and He loves you and he can do amazing things in your life. I have many more things I could share with you, but for now, hopefully this message will help you. And just know you have a brother in Christ who's praying for you. And I promise you, if you'll get in that book and you'll start actively putting the teachings of Christ into practice, he will blow your mind with his love for you. God bless you, dear sister. I talk to you soon. Bye bye.
